So, now you have the ring… and now the opinions and everyone’s two cents comes rolling in!!
I mean, the fun begins….. hahahaha!
It’s no lie that wedding planning is stressful. But, you know what makes it a little LESS stressful? Not giving an F about what people think and doing what YOU and your SPOUSE want to do!! This day is no one else’s. #sorrynotsorry
Well, instead of telling you what you SHOULD do- I thought I would help you out and let you know what you DO NOT have to do! Or that it’s OK to not follow every tradition out there just because everyone and their sister’s-babsitters-cousins-best friend did.
I think its safe to say I have been to a few weddings in my life. I have seen things work and things not work. So, these are just my ten cents from a professional stand point.
- You DO NOT need favors on the tables. Real talk? No one wants a custom koozie with your names and wedding date on it. The cookies/chocolate covered pretzels will be stale. Bottle openers? people will forget them. I cannot tell you how many weddings I have been to where the favors just get tossed because guests forget them. Or event staff forgets to even set then out! Save the money and spend it somewhere else. Honestly, like a handful of people might notice there isn’t something on the table…. but who cares? You’re already spending about $50 a plate on dinner and an open bar… they will live and get over it. (Photobooths are always a fun alternative to favors… and I just so happen to know of a really great one!!)
- You DO NOT have to do a grand entrance for your whole wedding party. Your wedding is about THE BOTH OF YOU. Plus, a lot of the times the DJs mix up names and songs. Or people trip running in doing some “unique dance” that’s been done at every wedding since the cupid shuffle was created…. If you dont want to do it? DON’T. Keep it about you and your spouse.
- You DO NOT have to do a receiving line or dismiss every pew at the end of your ceremony… this takes up SO much time… and you will be able to talk to everyone at the reception. Trust me on this one, disappear. Go take your pictures. Talk to people at the reception… thats what its for.
- You DO NOT have to do the bouquet/garter toss. Thankfully I have only witnessed these a handful of times at weddings over the 9 years I have been working them. If you want to do them? By all means do it!! However, I am just saying its OK to NOT do it… I actually hear guests say quite frequently that they hope its not done at the reception because they are so awkward.
- You DO NOT have to have one gender wedding parties. Have a best guy or girl friend? Cousin? Brother or sister? Awesome- ask them to stand up with you. Doesn’t matter if you are a guy or a girl, mix it up! They are important to you, thats all that matters.
- You DO NOT have to wear a white dress or black suit. I may be a little biased on this point (I wore a black dress on my wedding day) but its one I feel strongly about. Too many times I see brides or grooms post that they fell in love with a dress or a suit but it wasn’t “traditional” and their families said they shouldn’t wear it… so they didn’t….. WHY?! IT’S YOUR WEDDING DAY WEAR WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!! I honestly, LOVE when I see brides or grooms wear something other than the traditional black suit or white dress. It’s unique. It’s YOU. And people will REMEMBER it.
- You DO NOT have to take your spouses name. I mean, its 2019 after all. People are making their own last names these days! And again, if you want to take their name- DO IT!!! But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Of course, this is a big topic to discuss with your future spouse!!! But times have changed and its not something you HAVE to do anymore.
- You DO NOT have to be escorted down the aisle, if you don’t want to be. You can walk yourself. I did (and yes my dad was there… but he supports my stance of I was not a piece of property to be given away. Yeah, I may be a little out there with how I feel about it but I am grateful for a father that supports me). I am in many wedding groups and daily I see people posting asking if its “ok” to walk themselves down the aisle.. or even with your spouse and the answer is absolutely!! (I mean, what better way to start your lives together than to actually walk down the aisle together?!)
- You DO NOT have to do a unity ritual. Candles. Wine. Sand. Etc. If you don’t want to- don’t feel pressured into it.
- You DO NOT have to have a wedding cake if you don’t want to. SO many people ask if they have to have a cake because they don’t like cake or frosting…. you totally don’t! There are so many other fun options! Over the years I have seen: Ice cream sundae bars, Cold Stone, cup cakes, pies, cake pops, chocolate fondue fountains, candy bars, etc. Again, this day is about you guys and not traditions people think you need to do.
I could go on and on… for days…. really… but, I guess the biggest point I am trying to make is that this wedding you are planning is about YOU and your SPOUSE… not your family, not your friends.. If you don’t want to do something? Don’t. And don’t be afraid to tell people that, too.
Remember to have FUN. Enjoy the process. Try to enjoy the planning. And most of all enjoy the WEDDING!