2020/2021 wedding guest etiquette

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Whether you have been invited to a wedding, thought you were going to be invited to a wedding, planned on attending a wedding, are planning a wedding or know someone who is planning a wedding, I am sure you are all well aware of the devastation couples are facing right now.

This is an unprecedented time for our generation.

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Wedding days are supposed to be one of the most fun, exciting and joy filled days of our lives. And yet couples are being faced with the heart breaking decision to postpone, cancel or wait it out for their wedding plans.

Seeing first hand how couples are having to deal with this breaks my heart daily. But you know what really, really, REALLY gets me going?

When guests feel entitled to push their opinions on the already emotionally spent couples.

So here is a few tips for you if you have been invited to a wedding this year or are planning a wedding this year and have a few people in your life who would benefit from reading this.

  1. Unless you are one of the spouses named on the invitation getting married or a vendor- SHUT YOUR MOUTH. These couples are already dealing with so much. I cannot imagine the emotional turmoil they are facing. And then having to deal with everyones opinions on how they should proceed with THEIR wedding plans?! Nah, shhhhhh. Unless you have been asked? Just be supportive.
  2. Some may choose to proceed with the wedding as planned on the original date. Therefore having to cut their guest list WAYYYYY down by government mandate. If you are one of the guests who gets cut? Dont take it personal. I get weddings are a great time to get dressed up, let your hair down, catch up with people you haven’t seen in years. But, at the end of the day? Its not about you. I am sure the couple is already heart broken and feels embarrassed to have to “uninvite” people- just wish them the best and congratulate them. Again, this is THEIR day not yours.
  3. They may choose to move forward but elope and have a party later. Again, this is a different time we are living in and that is ok. Don’t take it personally.
  4. They may ask you to wear a mask. Either by government mandate, the venues requirements or just for the safety of themselves and other guests. Do it. Again, its not about you.
  5. This is a tough financial time for everyone. Wedding budgets are getting slashed because that savings is needed to make ends meet while the world is shut down and the Unemployment agency doesn’t know which end is up right now. So that swanky, top notch venue you looking forward to taking a double-tap worthy instagram photo at? May end up being their parents back yard. Show up, smile, hug them (if they are ok with it) and have a great ass time!

At the end of the day (and I cannot stress this enough) it’s not about you as a guest. It’s about the couple getting married. They are under enough stress and heart ache. Enough emotional trauma and mental stress. Just let them figure out whats best for them.

Trust me, they still love you and want to see you. They just cant right now.

Maybe they will throw a big party next year- maybe they wont. Either way? Its not about you. Be there to help and listen. Be there to love and support.

Most of all? Keep your mouth shut and opinions to yourself unless asked.

On behalf of all COVID-19 couples everywhere- please and thank you.

  1. Love love love this! Dealing with so many couples right now who are going through this and deep in the trenches of guilt from outsiders.

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